Friday, May 22, 2009
Terminator Salvation 2009 Review
Terminator Salvation (2009)
By now, most people are familiar with Christian Bale’s f-bomb blitzkrieg on the set of Terminator Salvation. His outburst was terrifying, but frankly, I would be angry too if I had devoted several months of my life to this movie.
Terminator Salvation is a wreck. Like the machines fought by John Connor (Christian Bale) and his scrappy band of resistance fighters, this movie manages to be both lifeless and relentless. Director McG pumps out action sequences at the Uzi-fire pace, filling the pauses between explosions with inane questions (is John Connor a false prophet or the key to salvation?) and Bale’s growls.
As Connor, Bale emotes his hardest, but his fine effort can’t jumpstart the lemon of a script. Even a birthday-suit cameo from the Governator fails to satisfy. It comes off as a cheap diversion, one more clunker for the scrap heap of arbitrary set pieces that make up this movie. The mindlessness wouldn’t matter so much if Terminator Salvation was actually entertaining, but the film commits the twin sins of not making any sense and taking itself with extreme seriousness.
Scriptwriters John D. Bracanto and Michael Feris (also responsible for Catwoman) give just enough justification for the explosions. Machines have taken over the earth, turning all cities into Ground Zero, driving the human “resistance” underground, and in one case, onto a submarine. Aside from Connor, the movie expects us to empathize with Marcus (Sam Worthington), a death row inmate who donates his body to science. Marcus gets his lethal injection; he wakes up half-robot, half-human.
This plot twist is mostly explored on the surface level (e.g. Marcus looking down at his mechanical torso and yelling “NOOO!”), but the premise raises interesting questions about the central role machines play in our lives. Can we live without technology? Do ever-present gadgets redefine what it means to be human? Have our iPhones become a fifth limb?
As far as redefinition, the on-screen gadgets haven’t changed much in the 25 years since the first Terminator. There’s shoptalk about microchips and processors, but the machines don’t have much digital capability. Most are still industrial-revolution-grade, soldered from good-old-fashioned steel. Since many of the machines that populate our lives no longer rust or tick, the film’s villainous gear-crunchers seem quaint and almost antique. The Terminators are analog enemies in a digital age.
Maybe we have become so cozy with computers that the possibility of digital rebellion is just too scary. Even Connor, luddite poster boy, sports a Blackberry-like device (supplied by Rio).
Nice to know that PDAs and in-movie marketing survive the coming apocalypse.
The Bottom Line: Save your money and your time. The machines want you to see this movie. We can’t let them win.
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ReplyDeleteAna's Response:
ReplyDeleteLet’s just put it this way: Terminator: Salvation starts with a man on death row making out with a woman dying of cancer who was trying to convince him to donate his body to science. Need I say more? Probably not, but I will, because the film—which manages to stuff robots on motorcycles, monster trucks, and a flying man with an axe all into the same scene—just asks for it.
Unlike the other Terminators, which had hulking robots and flaming metal aplenty but lacked this T4’s delusions of grandeur, Salvation tries to piggyback on the dark action film genre that its star has previously carried so well. While this darker tone is successfully conveyed in trailers, upon watching the movie it becomes quickly apparent that the movie lacks a plot, characterization, and effective acting. Bale, normally a capable actor, is remarkably underwhelming in Salvation, and sounds badly in need of a cough drop to boot. Sam Worthington, as robo-human Marcus, creates a slightly more intriguing character, but the film spoiled its most interesting plot point (Marcus doesn’t know he’s a robot) in the trailers, so that gets old pretty quickly, too.
“The devil's hands have been busy.” Croaks Bale halfway through the interminable movie. God, yes.
Wow. What an excellent review, Katie. Your writing style bears remarkable resemblance to that of Manohla Dargis. Any relation?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKatie, what an exhilarating movie review. Your very critical words almost make me want to watch the movie so I can feel the disappointment about which you eloquently wrote.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I read your line about the birthday-suit cameo and got very excited because I thought you were referring to Christian I-wanna-fuck-you Bale, but then I read the rest of the sentence and imagined a wrinkly, washed up Republican. Thanks a lot.
Thanks, Aston, but I urge you strongly not to waste your money (or most importantly) your time on the movie. Those are two hours of my life I will never get back!
ReplyDeleteNot to bring up potentially scary topics, but Arnold help up remarkably well for his age-- maybe photoshop, advanced cybernetics, or good genes?
Ana, I agree with your comments about the darker tone. It was almost as the production team threw in washed-out cinematography and half-thought out Christ imagery to try and evoke (aka capitalize on) the popularity of the Dark Knight. Shows that "dark" doesn't always equal good...
ReplyDeleteDid Kelly share the chud.com article about Terminator Salvation's original script with you? It makes for fascinating reading. I want to see THAT movie, even with Project Angel, it has to be better than what eventually got filmed.
ReplyDeleteWhat Went Wrong With Terminator Salvation?
Thanks for the link to the article! The old script definitely sounds like a huge step up from the hot mess currently gracing theaters. I would like to have watched Bale as Marcus, and the original ending sounds unexpected and far more interesting (except, as you noted, for the Project Angel stuff... zzzz...).
ReplyDeleteIt's a little sad to read that Christian Bale forced the rewrites. Between his on-tape meltdown and stories like this, he seems like a handful. His on screen persona was so likable...
I would also have liked to see more of Anton Yelchin. Although I am glad that Sam Worthington was cast as Markus, which wouldn't have happened in the original script, as I find him way more interesting than Christian Bale. I've never been a huge Bale fan, and this movie kind of killed whatever was left for me.
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